Ego

When we first hear someone speaking of “ego” we tend to think on the negative side of it. Ego has become strictly known as arrogant, pompous, domineering, vain, conceited, and so on. However, Ego by definition is simply a person’s sense of self. And though these negative versions are on the scale of ego, they are only one side of it. By seeing ego as a one-sided evil, we tend to ignore the positive side, which is extremely important for our mental health.

Sense of self.

So let’s look at Self-esteem, Self-worth, Confidence, a sense of being Proud and Accomplished without becoming too prideful. Keeping a sense of Humility in your achievements without a boastful presence.

Too often we allow others’ insecure egos to knock our own down. Usually when they feel threatened…jealousy and rage are unstable by themselves, let alone mixed together. And this process often starts at a young age with bullying. The biggest blows to the ego in our society, in my opinion, are body image and economical status. Media contributes to what a “proper human mold” should look like. Financially secure, thin but not too thin with the eating habits of a rabbit, but still have a strength to their aura but not too much because you wouldn’t want to come across as capable when you’re meant to be a damsel, or too feminine, clean cut with the perfect family attributes both physically, mentally, and according to the stigma of society.

But when our Self gets knocked down too many times, we begin to wither. Sinking into the sands of loneliness, and ending up telling ourselves we are not worthy to be seen or heard.

Listen, you are here. Right now, you are a living soul on this Earth, therefore, you have a purpose and you’re meant to find it. So don’t let the one extreme of the ego scale knock you down to ground zero. Own your voice, your presence, your values, morals, beliefs and hold them with confidence, pride, and humility.

How to do this?

I don’t have all the answers, but I do have a couple exercises you can do that can offer you a boost of self-love.

The first one was to write a resume. Put everything down, not just is currently relevant. EVERYTHING. Jobs and their positions, certifications, honors, accolades, workshops, classes, the soccer medal from elementary. Put it in chronological order to the best of your ability.

Then analyze this. Look how far you’ve come. Look where you had struggled and found your way back to a path. Are there things not on that list that you wish were on the list? Where were you the most happy? Or where did you lose your way, and how can you find it again?

This isn’t a light project but it holds a significant amount of power if you truly work it.

The second exercise is to walk. Sounds simple enough, but I want you to pay attention to how you typically walk. Normally, in this moment in our society, we are looking down. Whether it is to avoid eye contact with others, maybe we are buried in our phones, or, more common than you think, but maybe, our back muscles are so used to the hunched over “screen time neck” that we have literally lost the strength to hold our head up.

So, this exercise not only gives a little pep in your step, but may significantly help your poster which is major. And all you have to do is walk with your chin parallel to the ground below you. No phones needed for this exercise. If you want bonus points, you can even flash a smile at people walking by or simply soak up the sun and feel the breeze across your face. Somehow this brings me confidence. You may feel silly, but owning it feels even better. Accepting yourself and your needs is better.

As always, feel free to reach out if you have any questions and B.E. Well.

Your Coach,

Carolyn Stiles